One of the coaching practices I return to again and again is:
“Dance in this moment.”
Not the next moment.
Not the prepared question.
Not the coaching framework in my head.
This moment.
I was teaching a senior leader recently how to have a coaching conversation, and I found myself sharing another mantra I often use as I walk into a client’s office:
“There’s nowhere else to be.”
I personally find this deeply restful.
Because like many people running their own business, I can easily have two conversations happening in my head at once:
- the “executive coach” voice
- and the “SME owner” voice thinking about invoices, growth, and paying the bills
The moment that internal split happens, I lose presence.
I lose connection.
And I stop dancing in the moment.
Coaching Beyond Technique
In a world focused on productivity, outcomes, and performance, coaching can sometimes become overly structured.
Coaches can become focused on “doing coaching right” instead of truly being with the client.
But Co-Active Coaching invites us into something far more human.
It asks us to:
- listen beneath the words
- notice shifts in energy
- trust intuition
- respond to what is emerging rather than forcing a conversation toward a predetermined outcome
That is where the dance begins.
Following What Is Alive in the Room
Some of the most transformational coaching moments happen when we let go of the agenda we thought mattered.
A client may arrive wanting to discuss strategy, leadership, or performance. Yet underneath can sit fear, uncertainty, frustration, or self-doubt.
If we stay too attached to our plan, we risk missing the real conversation.
Dancing in the moment means being willing to follow what is alive in the room.
Sometimes that means silence.
Sometimes it means challenging gently.
Sometimes it means naming what has not yet been spoken.
One of my favourite coaching questions is simply:
“Anything else?”
Short. Simple. Powerful.
It keeps us focused on the client’s agenda, not the coach’s.
The Freedom That Comes from Contracting
As I was saying to a potential client today, to stay in this dance as a coach, you also have to apply what I call the ABC principle: Always Be Contracting.
Contracting for:
- the overall coaching engagement
- this coaching session
- and the “here and now” moment unfolding between coach and client
Ironically, the stronger the contracting, the greater the freedom within the conversation.
Because both coach and client know where they are, what matters, and what they are working toward together.
What Clients Actually Remember
Early in their coaching journey, many coaches focus heavily on technique:
- asking powerful questions
- holding structure
- creating accountability
- remembering coaching models
All of these matter.
But clients rarely remember the exact question you asked.
They remember how they felt in your presence.
Did they feel heard?
Did they feel safe enough to tell the truth?
Did they feel judged — or empowered?
Co-Active Coaching reminds us that the client is naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.
Our role is not to rescue or fix, but to partner with clients as they reconnect with their own wisdom, courage, and capability.
For me, dancing in the moment is ultimately about courageous presence.
Meeting the client exactly where they are — not where we think they should be.
And creating space for something honest, powerful, and deeply human to emerge.
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